Stories from Solitary Shinobi
by RoadWild
Summary: Konoha. Ame. Iwa. Kiri. Suna. 5 of the strongest Shinobi Villages in the world. Peek into their world. Heavy AU.
1. Chapter 1

Stories from Solitary Shinobi

Collections of long talks with select shinobi around the world.

My home. Kirigakure no Sato. A fucking miserable cesspit where there's more funerals than puddles every day. Oh, and you can just forget any of the things you've heard about us. "The Bloody Mist", "The Land of Bloody Rivers", every stupid little pun a civilian can think of. Discard it all. You can discard every nickname legend story about any Shinobi village ever. We are at war. And information is power.

Civilian films are all the same. Some foolhardy Genin from a civilian family goes up against the evil ronin with the help of a dorky clan heir and a cute girl that turns out to be an infiltrator. The few that don't share the same storyline are often ones that slipped past through their land's media censors and whose directors 'mysteriously die of uncertain circumstances'. Doesn't fool anybody, but keeps the dumb ones happy.

Talk to any Shinobi now and they'll tell you the real stories. Anyone that's worth any thing will tell you the same thing. It's war. From the moment you're born in one of the Villages to the moment you die infiltrating another, you are at war. It isn't out in the open of course. If any of our Shinobi were to be found in Iwa's borders they'd accept the usual ronin excuse. Any less would throw the entire board off the table and plunge the world as we know it into a chaos worse than the Clan days.

So, let's clear up some misconceptions. No, before the fucking Sellout became a national goddamn hero we did not actually force the lower shinobi to kill each other. It was a way to keep out the little prissies and find the kind of psychopaths shinobi need to be. No, people with Kekkei Genkai are not treated any worse than any other new recruit. It's just that they're often reluctant to give the full details of their abilities and that makes them an unforgivable liability for any hidden village.

Almost every hidden village's Academy is the same. Sure the curriculum is all about how to infiltrate each other and how to tell friend to soon-to-be-dead, but the only outlier is goddamn Konoha. Konoha is the only major village to keep using the 3 man team system after graduation, and what's scary is that it still works. Every hidden village's best researchers have attempted to find out what exactly do they do to keep their Genin from dying on their first day out. I mean, a Genin isn't stupid. They should know the basic Three (Bunshin, Kawarimi, and Henge). They should also know to run like hell If they run into anything bigger than themselves. But put a group of Genin together? They'll die faster than Iwa nin in Konoha!

Hahahah, oh yea. Anyways, most normal Villages keep Genin separate after graduation. They're expected to make the most out of their own skills and grow with a handler (Usually a bored Chunin waiting for their promotion) loosely overseeing. Konoha instead wastes their Jonin's valuable time teaching little shits whose only purpose is to die for their geniuses. Side note: Konoha actually doesn't have a significantly larger amount of shinobi geniuses than other villages. They just let theirs run around more freely.

Here's my damn question. How the hell did Konoha manage to make it so they're the good guys? I've seen them throw 9 year old Genin just out of the Academy and throw them into literal slaughter pits while telling them their 'teamwork' could get them through. And they'll come back and ask for more! Seriously, here's the damn thing about Konoha. You don't fuck with them. Ever. It isn't like with Kiri. You know you'll die If you try. Hell even with the other Great Villages. Even Amegakure. But with Konoha you kill one of them all of them will come after you. There's nowhere, nowhere remote or deadly enough for you to hide from a pissed off Konoha nin. And they'll throw kid after kid at you until either: 1. You're too old to fight them off, or 2. You're dead. It's their damn PR I swear. You get one cool fucking fuinjutsu master and suddenly you're the saint. There's a damn reason we wiped out Uzushiogakure.

Anyways, here I am. Speaking to you. I'm nothing special. You'll never see my name in the newspaper or whispers in the back of bars. I'm just another Rain nin with a Water specialty. But you see, "Deiton! Jiban Deika!" _The surrounding area's dirt suddenly becomes mud_. I've got a mission to fulfill.


	2. Chapter 2

Stories from Solitary Shinobi

Hey. To the right. Yea, nice night right? _The events of last night flash through your mind and you blush_.

Hah! Anyways, I looked through your stuff and found this journal. Honestly I'm surprised you even managed to see a Kiri nin without dying. So, I guessing the reason why you bought me so many drinks was because you wanted an interview huh? Well turned out a little differently but here I am I guess. Sure you aren't some sort of seduction nin?

 _She says it teasingly but there's a glint in her eyes that make you instinctively cover your crotch_

Eh, I thought chances were 50/50. After last night though I know you're not. Hidden villages train their seduction corps a lot more than that.

Hah! Well I'll tell you a little bit about my home. Konoha. Now, I'm not too sure about sending 9 year olds off to 'literal slaughter pits' but doesn't mean we don't get our own share of fucked up shit. Case in point, my old master Orochimaru. Yea, we're not too sure where he is. Last reports said somewhere in the Land of Rice Fields. Actually that's classified information. Do me a favour and cut that out would you?

So, so so so. I'm sure you're wondering now how Konoha keeps their Genin alive? Well there's a good reason for that. Other villages may pawn them off to some random chunin the first chance they get, but we make sure that the team compositions are likely to succeed and that the Jonin they're assigned to is competent. Yea, we're likely wasting the time of Might Gai or Kakashi Hatake but it means they can pass their skills onto the next generation. Our Genin are literally learning from our legends. You know our Yondaime? You know who was on his Genin team? Kakashi Hatake. Sure the other two died but we were at war with Iwa at the time. That made Kakashi a stone cold fucking bastard with more psychological issues than a Iwa nin from the Third Shinobi War. We make geniuses from legacies of other geniuses. It's why Konoha is the longest running and strongest village ever.

Teamwork isn't as funny as it sounds. You see what happens when two shinobi fire a Daitoppa and a Goka Mekkyaku together? Even if it's fresh Genin they can keep each other alive. You see, they actually believe that they succeed or fail as a team. Doesn't matter how fresh they are, if you dangle failure over their heads they become vicious little killers. I've seen a group of Genin take out a Chunin before only using kawarimis and bunshin.

Let me tell you something fun. This is skirting a line but hell if I care. You know how Konoha is keeping all those bloodlines together? It's weird right? All the rivalries between the Hyuga and Uchiha, how isolationist the Aburame is, and how many assaults the Inuzuka are charged with every year would definitely rip us apart right?

Turns out the Shodai Hokage when founding the village did some pretty shady shit and essentially binded every clan to Konoha. Only when the village falls will they be free. Guess being the most famous Mokuton user in history has it's benefits right?

Mokuton man. Most insane shit. Other villages have tried to copy it, but usually only get Deiton. Really we're not sure why only the Senju have demonstrated the ability to use Mokuton but it's probably because how much Yang chakra they have. But that's my little crackpot theory y'know? You don't fuck with the Senju really. Even with the last princess off getting drunk or whatever outside of the village the binds still stand. Fucking Mito Uzumaki I swear. If there's one thing I can agree with the Kiri nin is that wherever the Uzumaki go people get screwed.

Anyways, it was a nice night. Not sure how you tracked me down to this random town in the middle of nowhere but if you could find me then anyone could. And that means I have to get going. Technically I have a few more days of leave but more I wait the more the people the snake bastard screw over right? Try not to die. It'd be pretty cool seeing this get published.


	3. Chapter 3

Stories from Solitary Shinobi

Pshh. You want to what?

..

Seriously? Okay. Right, so quick history lesson for ya. Sunagakure was born because the Shodai Kazekage was crazy stupid strong and clans kept flocking to him. Apparently we were powerful enough that we were invited to the 5 Kage Summit and have been considered a major village ever since.

What? You want more? Seesh fine. Since Sunagakure is located in a massive desert most of our shinobi are great stealth specialists. Hard to hide in a featureless sandy basin you say? Well there could be one under your feet right now! Seriously though. Sand

Our only resource is sand. Our biggest enemy is sand. And when there's a fucking tanuki that can manipulate sand and kill you in a second you learn to beware sand.

Bijuu man. Fuck the goddamn Shodai hokage. Why would he offer us another damn monster when we can barely control our own? Hell, I'd say he's out of control more than he is in control. At least come over and fucking help us seal the bastard. Thank kami for Bunpuku but he's done nothing to keep the Ichibi suppressed. I swear the stupid brat is responsible for half of our shinobi losses, god knows what the civilian deaths are.

We've got a good mix of elemental affinities in the village, which is half the reason we've managed to stay on the map. The other half is y'know, no smart Kage will send their shinobi into a wasteland a bunch of crazies managed to survive in y'know? Our Raiton users are amongst the most active shinobi just because goddamn Iwa nin won't stop going into our borders. If we couldn't counter Doton then we'd be wiped out in a second I swear.

You bastards aren't innocent either. There's always some goddamn Konoha shinobi trying to get in. I mean, at least they do it legally but what the fuck do we say when Sharingan no Kakashi requests entrance? The fucking Daimyo won't fucking stop outsourcing our goddamn missions to motherfucking Konoha! We're literally scrabbling in the dust for any damn mission and if this goes on we're going to have to put half our damn shinobi on leave without pay. You know what happens then? The village will fall within a week! It's only because of our Yondaime Kazekage that we even have missions and that's because he has friends in some very high places. I can't stress how little we're getting from the Daimyo. I'm a fucking Jonin and I'm guarding a caravan. He's starving us out, I swear.

Kekkei Genkai? Well, this isn't exactly classified information not really spoken about. Most Kekkei Genkai users are taught by other family members, and if they're new or are powerful either a Jonin or our Kazekage oversees their training. Sunagakure, well, we have a small pool of Kekkei Genkai, but most of it isn't restricted to one family. Every now and then you'll see a Scorch jutsu being practiced, and our Magnet release users are specially taught by the Kazekage. They're essential in controlling the fucking tanuki, I tell you. Other than that, well, it's not like we have something crazy like the Sharingan y'know? I mean somebody popping up with Steel release was enough to send us into a frenzy. Last I heard they were being personally trained by the Kazekage with even talks of a marriage contract to make sure we still have some Koton users in the village.

Some shit man, y'know? Sunagakure is my home but even I can tell we're in some pretty deep shit. I mean sure Konohagakure will back us up but that doesn't mean much when an Iwa nin is about to blow your entire position up right?

Mm. Mm. Yea. _He gestures to somewhere in the distance_ You see that? No? Really? Well, there's a massive dust storm coming this way. We're a few days out from Sunagakure to I don't even know whether it's the Ichibi gone loose or something that'll blow over in a few hours. Best we get out of the way anyways. Hm? What do I do? Well, this is something that only Suna nin do, and we're damn proud. _Around him several mounds of sand burst and strange constructs jump out_ I'm a proud member of Sunagakure's puppet corps. Our prized skill and the one thing other hidden villages can't replicate. God help them when the puppet strikes.


End file.
